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Phenomenological reflection of love by manuel dy

People fight and struggle in the name of love. Love has been equated with admiration. To love another means to be passionately attracted to her and to bring her to bed with me. There are many viewpoints and aspects of love. Let us take one of the most human and true-to-life viewpoints — an experiential or phenomenological description of the experience of unselfish love and then only can we arrive at the realistic meaning or philosophy of love.

A Phenomenology of Love The experience of love begins from the experience of loneliness. The experience of loneliness is basically a human experience. Loneliness ends when one finds or is found by another in what we call a loving encounter.

The meeting of persons is not simply bumping into each other, nor is it simply an exchange of pleasant remarks, though these could be embodiments of a deeper meeting. The deeper meeting here in love happens when two persons or more who are free to be themselves choose to share themselves. I can conceptualize the other into a list of beautiful qualities which I myself may lack but they can only at best give rise to enamoredness, a desire to be with the other.

But once the qualities cease to be attractive, love also ceases. Love is more than mere infatuation, more than mere liking such and such qualities of the other.

Phenomenological Papers: A Supplement to Philosophy of Man, Selected Readings

The other person is more than his qualities, more than what I can conceptualize of him. And love is the experience of this depth and mystery of the other and the firm will to be with her. Nor is the appeal of the other an explicit request.

The appeal of the other is herself. The other in her otherness is herself a request. The appeal of the other is the call to participate in her subjectivity, to be with and for her.

Because of you, I understand the meaninglessness of my egoism. Perhaps, I am not meant to be alone, perhaps I can only be truly myself with you. Since the appeal of the other is not his quality or an explicit request, it follows that my response cannot be an outpouring of my qualities to the other or the satisfaction of his request.

Compatibility is not necessarily love. Neither is submission necessarily love. Sometimes refusing the request of the other may be the only way of loving the person in a situation, if satisfying it would bring harm to the person. His appeal then to me means an invitation to will his subjectivity, to consent, accept, support and share his freedom.

Subalit mahirap ang pagpapakatao sa pagmamahal.

  1. Compatibility is not necessarily love.
  2. In love, it must be reciprocated. I had taught him to sing whenever I whistle a tune that was similar to his song.
  3. And love is the experience of this depth and mystery of the other and the firm will to be with her.
  4. Neither is submission necessarily love.
  5. This means that in this appeal, the other open or offer himself to you, His whole being as a person. When love in the give and take relationship is healthy, love becomes fruitful and creative.

Love creates a new person, either in myself or in the other. Each of us is created, molded and remolded by those who loves us.

We often appear what we are not. Love is full of surprises or can be a real eye opener. This new you can only be discovered by one who loves. But love is reciprocal. What I am and the meaning of my life depends very much on others. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. Up to the point of our lives, others parents, family, teachers, classmates, friends have given meaning to our lives. We begin to love when we begin to give meaning to the lives of others.

What does the other make me when he loves me? Love creates a unity.


The other makes me authentically myself and I make the other authentically the other. What a boring and dull world this would be, if everybody was like me. Love is the gift of self. Love is a giving, a giving of the best, the giving of the self to the other. One of the highest expressions of a life of giving and a giving of life is in the case of married love. It is better to give than to receive — this is the paradox of love.

It if better to give than to receive, not because giving is difficult but it is a joy.

To Teach Is To Light A Life Forever

When I give myself, it is the highest expression of what I can become, of my power to love. Whatever goodness is in me — be it my time, advice, talent, patience, a word of encouragement — is truly valuable because somebody needs my love.

Paradoxically, it is in giving that we receive. If someone believes in me and trusts in me, I try to live up to her faith and trust and will try never to hurt, disappoint or fail her. Love grows and should grow.

Love must not be taken for granted. Just as one can fall in love, so too she can fall out of love. And when love dies, it is difficult to resurrect it.

The relationship between an unfaithful husband and a faithful wife can never be the same again. Hurt or wounded love takes time to heal and sometimes it never heals. They have gone trough a lot but their love for one another has never died. For somebody who mean a lot to us, we must continually make the effort to know the other. If our love grows cold and dies, someone too will die. We are responsible for those whom we love. Love is shown by deeds rather than words.

  • Let us bear in mind that in every encounter the making of each other;
  • Here is a true-to-fact example of primary and secondary reflection from a student;
  • Up to the point of our lives, others parents, family, teachers, classmates, friends have given meaning to our lives;
  • How can I love the other unless he has already begun to love me.

Love is inseparable from care, from labor. To love the other is to labor for that love, to care for her body, her world, her total well-being. Accepting the person as she is, different from myself.

Respect also means being patient. Love creates the lover. If I love a person, I am never the same again. Love also creates the beloved. Although he knows me from within, even the worst of me, he still loves me. I must be good and therefore can become better. Love is mutual or reciprocal. How can I love the other unless he has already begun to love me. Love is an appeal. How is it possible that I can love a person very much and yet that person does not love me as much?

This is the mystery of freedom and love. Love cannot be forced or bought; possessed or dominated; it can only be given freely.